My One Change That Made a Difference: How I Conquered After-Work Tension Through an Unexpected Find in the Attic

One frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock after work. My shoulders grow tense, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Typically, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, a few months ago, I came across my now-adult son’s old school recorder in the attic. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time when it drove me crazy – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind hours after he had gone to bed.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. Growing up, I was the least musical child ever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, I was focused, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I was overjoyed. I had managed to play music.

Today, after some months, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my rhythm is off, and I still need to write the names of the notes down, but for me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it’s purely about the joy it provides and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, yet it made me wistful for my school years, as well as my son’s.

I make it a habit to play each night after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I escape into my own realm. Afterward, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, and boosting mental skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. For daily wellness, it’s truly an ode to joy.